Is this a guy thing? In my experience, I’ve encountered more men that do this than women, so can I consider this a guy thing? (according to strict methodological procedure, prolly not! haha!)
I’m standing in the kitchen, making scones, when I see a bolwevil creep out of the flour. So I yell, “<insert expletive here>!”
B says, “Are you okay!? Is everything alright?!” (doesn’t he know my father AND grandfather were sailors, and half my family is military???)
I say, “Ugh. Yes but no. Ugh ugh.”
B comes into the kitchen. I explain the problem — new flour, a few months old, has bolwevils in it. He says, “It’s fine. You can still cook with it. In India people still eat flour when there’s bolwevil in it.”
Of course, I can’t find anything about the subject on the internet! (Perhaps that means having access to Internet AND possibly needing to eat bug-infested ingredients aren’t two demographic characteristics that usually overlap? Ha!)
B says, “What are you doing? You either use it, or you throw it out, and then you won’t buy ANYMORE flour again. That’s it.” (with a nice, authoritative hand gesture to accompany the statement, of course)
I look at him and say, “Dude, when you talk like that to me, it makes me feel like I’m a kid and I’m in trouble, like I just sh*t in the pool or something.”
“Well I have to talk like that, because you don’t take desicions.” (he means Make decisions – it’s a British-English thing)
“Yeah, and you make ‘FINAL DECISIONS’ EVERY FIVE MINUTES, and each one overturns the last one. How is that different?!”
That’s what I mean by a “guy thing.” I (and my sister, according to my brother-in-law) don’t make decisions, so they MUST make them for us. As if their word wouldn’t be law if we didn’t need it to be. Problem is, the ‘final word’ changes so many times, it feels just like a ramped-up version of vaccilating! Nothing is in the oven. I’m perfectly content to sit here and think about this bolwevil thing for an hour or so.
When we talk about it, he claims he’s just trying to help, and I explain (over and over) that making “final decisions” (ahem, snap judgments!) for other people is rarely helpful unless you then help implement the decision. I do ask for advice when I need it, and sometimes I even ask him to make MY (singular) decisions for me! I just don’t know how to say it (maybe I should make a poster with a naked chick on it???), but DUDE. Just. Dude.
*SO, IS making multiple, self-negating “final decisions” the same thing as not making a decision at all? What would make one method preferable to the other?*